27 December 2008

Exist Now

While driving on I-65 to Elizabethtown over the holidays, I saw a billboard that said "Exist Now." Guessing that this was some religious or philosophical statement, I wondered who put up the billboard. The phrase was in big black letters on a white background. There was nothing else. I craned my head around so I could see better. (The far section of my windshield was blurry with rain/snow.) There was a Cracker Barrel logo attached above the white rectangle of the billboard. I was all WTF until I realised that the sign actually said "Exit Now."

Bonus blog:

I was looking for an empty notebook (and failed) and found one that I had used for a history class as an undergrad at DACC. The page I opened up to had final exam study notes on the Nixon era. The page is labeled "Dick." Part II of the outline goes like this:

II. Should he have resigned?
A. Yes. He was a villainous crook.
B. He was a nasty little man & he should never have been president.

I would like to submit that students of Illinois history many years down the road may have similar entries in their notebooks regarding Governor Blagojovich.

25 December 2008


I played Wii for the first time this holiday. I suck at it, but I kinda want one now. Hahaha.

20 December 2008

Hit her, Ash, hit it!

Perhaps it was not so wise of me to watch The Evil Dead while alone in the house at night right before bed when the wind is blowing pretty fiercely outside making the house creak and the door to the garage rattle.

P.S. I've always kinda had a thing for Bruce Campbell, I admit it.

13 December 2008

This is just sad.

This morning I spied a newspaper on the table at work, waiting to be checked in. The newspaper is one that is only published two or three times a month, so I almost never see it when checking in newspapers. My internal monologue said, "Oh, we got one of those episodes in? [pause] Did I just say episodes when referring to newspaper issues?" At this point I just shook my head and wondered what the world is coming to when even a librarian can't get those straight.

06 December 2008

Guaranteed Novel

I'm feeling very weird today. Sort of off. I dunno. There are several reasons, I suppose. I'd say that I should just have some hot chocolate and be done with it, but I'm still really full from dinner. Maybe I'll watch a movie. It's late, though, and I want to get to bed at a reasonable time so that I can go to church in the morning. Last weekend, I was thwarted by the shock of snow. There's still snow, but it's been here a week, so no surprises there unless i wake up to find the driveway a foot deep in snow. I don't want to have to shovel my way out when I'm dressed for church. I may even wear a skirt.

Speaking of skirts, I wore one today to my great aunt's birthday party. She's 75. Today is Daddy's birthday too. He's 68. It was quite a shock to me this afternoon to realise there's only a seven-year age difference there. It feels like it should be a lot more.

I think I should watch a movie. A comedy, preferably. Maybe I'll pop in The Princess Bride.

03 December 2008

30 November 2008


It snowed last night, so I decided not to drive to Chambana this morning. Okay, it didn't snow a lot, but my fuchsia car is definitely white.

Also, I think my dad is watching something fun in the way of Wallace & Gromit without me. How dare he?!

16 November 2008

To The Pain

Five points if you can name the movie referenced in the title.

I just started reading Rock and Roll Cage Match which is a collection of articles pairing up artists to see which is better. It's all relative and highly subjective, of course, but it's damn fun. I confess, I decided to check it out based on the Trent Reznor vs. Marilyn Manson chapter, but I'm really, really enjoying the whole of it. I haven't gotten to Reznor/Manson yet; so far R.E.M. has won over U2, Whitney Houston over Mariah Carey and Timbaland over Phil Spector. This is a great read for any rock fiend. I highly recommend it.

Google Quote of the Day

I chuckled.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before... He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.

--Kurt Vonnegut

13 November 2008

John, Paul, George, Ringo

It's obvious I've had a long, tiring day and my emotional rubber band is about to snap when I hear "Hey, Jude" on the radio and it damn near brings tears to my eyes. Not in a bad way; I had a silly little smile on my face at the time because I love The Beatles, but I was definitely getting a little watery. Meh. I agree with Daddy--"Something" is a much better song.

09 November 2008

JTHM kills kids at the library.

Back in August we received a copy of JTHM: The Director's Cut as a donation at the library. I thought this was really odd. Because it was a nice new copy, I wanted it as a replacement for mine whose binding started breaking after the first read. So I put a bit of paper in it claiming dibs on the book if it doesn't get added to the library's collection.

A few days later, the head of the children's department asked me about the book. She had looked through and noted it's graphic violence and naughty language, so she wasn't really sure for what age group it was appropriate. I said that most who have read Johnny started in middle school or high school. (I first read it when I was 23 and had some really weird dreams that night afterwards, but that's another story.) I said that true appreciation of these comics would require an understanding of irony as all the violence is meant ironically, not as a suggestion or validation or glorification of violence. She decided to think about this.

Fast-forward to last Thursday, three months later, and she hands me the book and says I can have it after all. Earlier that day I had been wondering whether she had decided to add it to the library's collection. I can understand her decision--it's hardly like the other books in our graphic novel collection. Those tend to be superhero comics or cutesy manga. Whatev. Now I have two copies. I rock.

06 November 2008

Ye Gods, but I'm tired.

Whoever the hell thought it would be a good idea to get a job where I would be required to wake up at 530 on occasion should be shot.


Okay, that's taken care of then. I'm still not happy about this being at work at 700 thing. Especially as I'm supposed to be shadowing someone to work on signs, but I have no idea who that someone is. Either Dina or Donna. I suppose I'll just ask when I walk in, no big deal. But I'm not there yet, so I'm still fretting. Gah. I really hate my brain sometimes.

More than anything in the world, I just want to go back to bed. I'm trying to work out in my brain whether it would be feasible to take a nap between jobs today. I need to squeeze lunch in there too. Difficulties, difficulties. Maybe I can forego lunch and just eat on my break at the library. Good idea, but I barely ate any breakfast, so I'll likely be starving by noon, which means no putting off lunch til 3ish.

Hahaha. I'm totally zoning out while sitting here at my computer. I'm going to be wonderfully useful today, I can tell.

04 November 2008


I've got my sticker, where's yours?

Anyhoo. I want free Starbuck's for having voted, but we no longer have a Starbuck's in town. Tears. So we may travel to C-U to get some there, which is an awful long way to drive for free coffee. And yet, we will probably do it. The only catch is that I'll miss a lot of Comedy Central's coverage of the election tonight. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are joining forces to present Indecision 2008 in its final hours. I remember watching The Daily Show all night back in 2004. Good times. Maybe I can convince my supervisor that it is in the public's best interest to know what's happening and she'll allow us to roll out a TV set so we can watch, just like on 9/11. Hey, you never know!

Three minutes into a song, and I just realised that it's the instrumental version of the song. Shows how much I pay attention to the music I'm listening to while I'm putzing around on the internet.

28 October 2008


I heard POE on the radio this morning.

It is going to be a good day.

27 October 2008

I'm All Twitterpated.

I've started a Twitter account at Jenni's behest. Come follow me. I'm sure it'll have more activity as time goes by.

25 October 2008


I just read on LibraryThing that Geoffrey Chaucer died 608 years ago today. Wow. I took a class on Chaucer once. Good times. I really should read the whole of The Canterbury Tales one day. One day.

17 October 2008

This is how I will die.

December 25, 2019: Trapped in the chimney.

You decide to surprise your family this Christmas. You wear your Santa suit and climb into the chimney with your bag of gifts. The gifts unfortunately spill out of the bag and wedge themselves around you. You try to move, but it looks like you're stuck! You die from exhaustion and carbon monoxide poisoning. Turns out this Christmas won't be so merry after all!

When Will I Die
When Will I Die by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes!
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Maybe I didn't think this through.

Most of the above mentioned 42 jobs I have applied for are professional positions which require my Masters degree. See, every day I look at job lists of new openings all over the country. This is easy, thanks to Google Reader, and I can sort through all the job lists right in one place after I take care of my email in the morning.

You wouldn't believe how many libraries are looking for directors. Geez. Are they all retiring? Did they go to a conference and eat the same fatal hors d'oeuvres? Who knows.

Not relevant to me anyway. I'm looking for entry-level work. This is more difficult than it seems, because most positions out there want to hire someone with at least 2 years of professional experience. This experience is what I'm trying to get. Fuck, I just want a job. I can't live with the parentals forever. Since I don't have any professional experience really, I thought I'd apply to a few paraprofessional positions. Not many, but a few, just because I might have a better chance at them than others. I dunno.

Today I got an email from a university where I had applied for a paraprofessional job to give me a heads up that that's what the position is and that they are looking to hire a professional cataloger if that might be more up my alley, but to let them know if I still want to be considered for the paraprofessional job. I emailed back and said yes. I looked at the description for the cataloger position, and although I'd like to catalog, I have no experience with that outside of the classroom. There's no way in hell I'd get that job and I know it. Also it requires doing some supervising of other workers, something I've never done. Here's the rub: I fear that because I said I was interested in the paraprofesional job, not the cataloging job, even though I have a Masters, that they will interpret this as a lack of ambition and won't bother to call me for an interview.

I can't win. Ever. I've only had three interviews out of all those jobs I've applied to. The last was over a week ago, and I haven't heard anything back from them yet, so I assume I didn't get that either. (Which doesn't surprise me; I should have prepared a bit better for the interview. Also, I got really flustered at one point, which is normal for me--I'm just too damn shy and ill-coordinated in social situations.) I think I'm fucked, and not in the happy way. Damn catch-22.

Crass Darkness

I really must stop talking to people. I'll never get clean this way. I need to change the currently reading info on the side there. I've already read another book since Truckers (Next, by Michael Crichton. Good book.). I think I may start The Concise Book of Lying next, but I'm not certain. Anyway, I've got lunch with Erin in an hour and I'm still in my pajamas. (This better not become a theme in my life.)

13 October 2008

not fair

How dare my body give me cramps when I'm nowhere near my period.

Not fair.

P.S. Happy birthday, Fox Mulder.

09 October 2008

Willed Bitter

I really like relying on The Random Phrase Generator (see links in sidebar) for my blog titles.
A. They're amusing.
B. I'm lazy.
Not necessarily in that order.

I feel like whining, so I forgive you for navigating to a new website now. I would too.

My throat hurts. (I better as fuck not be getting sick, dammit.)
My shoulders hurt. (Too many down dogs yesterday, I think.)
My feet hurt. (That's what I get for wearing boots with heels to an interview and getting a tour of the whole building.)
My head hurt. (It did while at work anyway. Now it seems just fine.)
My chest hurt. (This was last night. Not my breasts, understand, my actual ribcage.)

'Kay. Done whining. I've nothing else to say now though, so I think I'll just go to bed. Typing is hurting my shoulders. (I shit you not.)

07 October 2008

Merged Penny

I'm not sure I like the smell of the lotion I used earlier. Meh. Oh, well.

I just finished another Vonnegut book. I guess that means I should change the book info on the sidebar there, but I'm lazy. I'll take care of it later. Anyhoo, in this book, the main character, upon becoming President, issues out new middle names to all American citizens. Each name is of a fruit or flower or chemical element or vegetable or precious stone followed by a numeral ranging from 1 to 20. This way each citizen would suddenly and automatically have an extended family. His campaign slogan: Lonesome No More!

I can dig it.

I have a job interview tomorrow. 3 of 4 people have responded with negative comments when I mentioned the town of this public library. The fourth simply said that it's bigger than here, implying that it must be better than the Vegas by virtue of that fact alone. Possibly. It's wealthier than this town, I think. Of course, the only reason I believe that is because it has had three different buildings for it's library. The first was a Carnegie library, which was replaced in the early 70s and then again in 1999. We only managed to move out of the Carnegie building in the mid-nineties, though we surely needed to before that. Also, they've got lots more computers and a dedicated automation services department, unlike our library, so that speaks of greater funding. Anyway, that's about all I know about the town. I'll have to see for myself tomorrow. I hope to drive around the town a bit and get a feel for it like I meant to do after a previous interview but forgot. Whoops. I didn't get that job anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Guhhh, I hate waking up early to go on boring drives. Shoot me now someone.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Jenster!!!!!

03 October 2008

Supported Cry

Last night I had a dream with Jeffree Star in it. He was living at our house for some reason.

30 September 2008

waiting waiting waiting

I'm just sitting here wasting time while waiting for a video clip to download. Once that's done, I can turn off my computer and go to bed. Why don't I just leave the computer on doing it's thing and go to bed anyway, you ask? I did that last night. My computer needs to sleep sometimes too, y'know. Maybe I'll watch Across the Universe tomorrow. I just listened to the soundtrack. It makes my heart happy.

I'm still having creative struggles with Genius. It won't recognise Amanda Palmer's new album or NIN's Still or The Slip. Terrible. Just terrible. It only recognises 3 songs from the soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas, which I find odd.

11 minutes remaining

Daddy's gonna make bacon and eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning. Yum yum. That was the name of one of the Siamese cats in the Cat Who . . . mysteries by Lilian Jackson Braun. Yum-Yum, that is. Anyhoo, I think I shall shave tomorrow as I'm getting to look a bit like a hippie again. Damn.

8 minutes remaining

Okay, fuck this waiting nonsense. I'm gonna go bug daddy for the next 7 minutes. Bye.

28 September 2008

Christmas in . . . September?

I'm totally listening to Elvis sing Christmas songs right now. I am awesome.

20 September 2008

I'm a menace to myself.

I think I pulled a muscle in my leg during yoga last night. And I think I pulled all the other muscles in the rest of my body during work today.

My whole body aches. :(

13 September 2008

It's Aliiiiive!

First Genius hiccup: It doesn't register NIN's Ghosts. True, the album isn't available in iTunes, but, hell, there's lots of albums that aren't available on iTunes. This could provide a hindrance, demoting it to merely Valedictorian.

Here's why you should vote Republican.

Fo' sho'

11 September 2008

I usually leave it there.

I've been home for two hours now and only just now realised that I'm still wearing my name tag.

P.S. Voltaire makes my heart happy.

07 September 2008


I'm bored and fidgety. I need to think of something to do or somewhere to go this evening, because I just can't sit here in my room all day long.

04 September 2008


Is it wrong that I sort of want to cop out on tomorrow's interview? I don't honestly feel I have a chance at the position, and that's an awful long way to drive for nothing. Besides, I went and asked Daddy if he wanted to be my driving buddy and he really doesn't want to, but I think he'll do it anyway, just because I want him to. And that makes me feel bad. I shouldn't have said anything to him. Urgh. Also, I'm sleepy and don't feel like studying any cataloging. (I've convinced myself that I'll be tested on this somehow during the interview, so I feel I need to beef up on MARC and all that.) I just want to sleep and not have to wake up at 6-fucking-o'clock. Blergh. I haven't the balls to cop out. Not really. Maybe I'll just forgo the studying, but I know that would be foolish. Fuck.

03 September 2008

02 September 2008

didn't get it

I received a letter today (I am oh-so-excited right now that I spelled 'received' correctly on the first try. Damn those 'ie' and 'ei' words.) from the library where I interviewed last week. The director went with someone who was fluent in Spanish. This makes sense, since the area has a large Spanish-speaking population (one-third) and since the position requires developing the Spanish language collection. He did write, however that I was his second choice out of over 25 applicants. So I may not have gotten the job, but I did get an ego boost, which is almost as good. ;)

01 September 2008

Just to show how blonde I am

I wear a cuff bracelet on my right arm. I've had it for maybe six months now. Like most of my jewelry, I wear it all day every day and only rarely take it off or exchange it with another piece. The one circumstance under which I always take of my bracelet and rings is when I shave my legs, because getting the shaving goop all over the jewelry is just gross. So I took off my rings and reached into the sleeve of my robe to take off my bracelet. It wasn't there. I had a minor panic attack because I couldn't remember taking it off anywhere. I knew I had taken off for the NIN show a week and a half ago, but I put it back on right afterward. That night, I think. The cuff is pretty small, so I was certain it hadn't fallen off in bed or anywhere else really. I looked in the purse I used last week, and there it was in the front pocket. Whew! All this was in a matter of about 3 seconds, mind you. The thing is that I took the bracelet off before going in to my interview last Wednesday and didn't put it back on, and never even bloody noticed until just now, almost a week later. I am so fucking blonde, I swear.

29 August 2008

My life is now complete.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is out on DVD!

Imma gonna go to Wally World right now, methinks.

28 August 2008

So tell me a little bit about yourself . . .

Now that interviews A and B are over, I can breathe a little easier the rest of this week. Interview A went very well, I thought. However, as there are many candidates in line for that position, I have no idea where I stand. I'll know by the end of the week, though. Woooo. Interview B was merely a preliminary phone interview. It went well too. I haven't a clue whether they'll contact me again for a proper interview. Considering the rather low salary, I won't really mind if they don't get back to me.

After interview A, the Jenster and I went up to Chicago, where I bought two pairs of shoes. Let's just say, I had sore feet and there was little alternative. Right. We also hit up Lush and nearly bought them out. Or was it that we cleared out our wallets? Whatever.

P.S. I'm listening to a leak of Ben Fold's new album. It's allowed; Amanda Palmer posted the above link on her blog. Does "Brainwascht" sound a bit familiar? Yeah? Yeah? Hahaha. She should sue.

24 August 2008

tis a shame

Too bad I can't sell my uterus on eBay. I really don't want it anymore.

This is me.

-The Great Below-
Extremely sensitive, you are still waiting for that one love to either return or come into your life for the first time. You know deep down that you're going to end up getting hurt again, but you're still hopeful.

Take the quiz.

22 August 2008


Okay, so my hard drive crashed a few weeks ago meaning that I lost all saved passwords in Firefox etc. I haven't had any real trouble with this until just now. I wanted to sign in on flickr for the first time since the Crash of '08. I knew things would be difficult when the login page was actually Yahoo. Fine. No problem. I know my Yahoo password. Besides, this seemed vaguely familiar from before. I never really use flickr much, having only uploaded one photo so far and a crappy one at that. I tend to use photobucket (which I have had no problem logging into thank you very much). Right, so I typed in my Yahoo password and it wanted me to either A) create a new flickr (Huh? I thought I was logging onto my existing account. What is this shit?) or B) connect the Yahoo ID to an existing Flickr account. Obviously, I want choice B. So I went to log in and failed. Miserably. Over and fucking over. I'm pretty sure I know which email address I used, so it's just a password problem. Eventually, I gave up and had them send me my password, but it won't do that because it recognises that email as being connected to a Yahoo account, so I had to go through Yahoo's password bullshit. And THAT didn't work! It asked for month of birth and country and zip code. I typed all this in correctly and it said no. So I logged into Yahoo from the actual Yahoo site and saw that my profile was created when I was in college, so I tried it again using that zip code instead. Still a no go. I have absolutely no idea what the problem is. So I kept trying different months even though I know I never bother to fudge my birthday when creating accounts, just to see if maybe I did once, and Yahoo froze my account for 24 hours. Security. They assumed someone was trying to break in to my account. Yeah. Me. I can still log in to my Yahoo via the Yahoo account by the way, so whatever. So then I decided to try again at flickr. I must have tried every damn password I've ever used in the whole of my life and then some. Nothing worked. So I gave up and went with choice A after all and created a nice and shiny new account that is properly connected to my Yahoo ID la de da de da.

Here's the new one: Jessiqa
For nostalgia's sake: 13_GIR

Now I forget why I wanted to log on in the first place.

Edit: Fuck this shit, yet again. I'm just not a fan of Flickr. I decided to use Picasa instead.

19 August 2008


First interview next week!

15 August 2008

typing while bored

So yeah, haven't been hanging around the blogosphere much lately. At least not my corner of it. Wait, spheres don't have corners. Gah, foiled again by my own foolish metaphors. So right now I'm in the midst of a couple of IM convos that I should end pretty soon and that I never intended to begin in the first place, but oh well. I need to go to bed here soon. I have to work early in the morning. All day.

Why is finishing a book always so depressing? I recently finished The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland. Pretty good. I liked it. Now I've begun Gandhi's autobiography. Gah, I keep wanting to put the 'h' after the 'g' in his name rather than after the 'd'. Oh, well.

Let's see, what else is going on in my life? I randomly decided today to become more active on OrthodoXCircle. I've had a membership for ages, but rarely log on. Today I did and that's where these two IM conversations have come from. I should have known better than to log on just before bed. I still need to wash my face and brush my teeth. Yeesh. And I totally didn't do yoga today like I said I was going to do and totally had time to do, but didn't. I suck. C'est la vie.

14 August 2008

30 July 2008

must remember

do yoga much more regularly.
this once every two weeks shit is gonna kill me.

23 July 2008

crazy crazy

This past week and a half has been totally crazy and I have turned into a fucking chimney. And it doesn't look like things are going to lighten up for several more days. Ugh.

Puff puff.

12 July 2008

actually . . .

I think it's a stye, not a pimple, which is slightly less weird but no less painful.


11 July 2008


What is up with me getting pimples in the weirdest possible places? I have one coming up on my lower eyelid just below the lashes. Yes, my eyelid. What the fuck? It's bloody painful too. Dammit (spoken in the voice of a petulant child).

So yeah, Daddy and I just watched the most recent Die Hard movie. Good fun. I say we start on the Lethal Weapon movies next. I've only seen the first one so far.

Well, this job hunt thing has been fairly unfruitful. Oh, sure, I've had a couple responses saying they filled the job and good luck in the future. The closest I've come to an interview is when a library in Chicago gave me a call, but it was for a part-time job, and I can't really do that. I need full-time work or I may as well just stay where I am now, working part-time and paying no rent. Actually, after August's concerts, I plan to look for a second part-time job here in town, just to give a bit of a boost to my income, pay off my credit card debt a bit more quickly.

My eye really hurts.

Daddy's going into surgery Monday. Mom's really taking it hard. I think she was crying last night. Not that I'm not nervous. I am. And so is Daddy. (duh) But Mom seems particularly worried, as though something horrible will go wrong and our whole world will fall apart. I'm not going to say it's a routine surgery, no big deal, because I don't think it is routine. However, I believe that it isn't a terribly serious surgery. They're just going to go into his kidney, insert a tube, pluck out a few kidney stones that are too big to deal with otherwise, and leave the tube in for drainage for a week or two before going back in to make sure they got all the stones. A couple months down the road they'll repeat the procedure on the other kidney. It's serious, but hardly life-threatening. It's almost out-patient, after all. They're only likely to keep him one night. Oh, ugh. We have to be there at the ass-crack of dawn Monday morning. No, before the ass-crack of dawn. The sun will be rising in Newfoundland or points farther east at about the time we pile into the car to drive to Chambana. I'm totally going to sleep on the way over. Definitely.

Okay, enough of that. I've got the second disc from Da Ali G Show to watch. Funny stuff, let me tell you.

07 July 2008


I've been bit!

In other news, I'm listening to AFI on Loveline from 2005. Sooo much fun. Hahaha. I swear every one who calls in to talk to AFI says they are their favorite band, and usually that they are the band's biggest fans. And I'm only 23 minutes into the show. Who knows what craziness will brew in the future.

24 June 2008


Blogger doesn't seem to be loading my widget-y stuff on the right-hand side very well. This may be a Firefox issue, as I've always used Flock with this blog until just yesterday. Hmmmm. Anyhoo, the Beatles make my heart happy, as does Discworld.

15 June 2008


I've just begun listening to Lolita (by Vladimir Nabokov) on audiobook. I've seen the Kubrick movie, so I know the story, but I kinda want to read Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi and I thought it prudent to know a bit more about Nabakov's story before getting involved with this one. Thus the audiobook. (Note: Now that I look up Nafisi's book on Wikipedia, I see that it has four sections, and Lolita is only the first. The second and third sections are Gatsby and (Henry) James, neither of which I've read, so I guess I'll have a bit more to read before I get to Tehran.) The audiobook is narrated by Jeremy Irons. I fully admit that this is the main, okay real, reason I wanted to listen to the audiobook. I could have been satisfied with just the movie before going on to Tehran, but Irons has such a sexaliscious voice that I couldn't really pass up an opportunity to listen to him read a book. There lies the rub. The narrating voice is Humbert, the man who is obsessed with the young Lolita. I'm not very far along--he hasn't even met her yet--but it's obvious he will be fairly explicit in describing his obsession and relations with her. Which is unnerving in and of itself, but with Jeremy Irons' voice is doubly so. I may just get too skeeved out to finish listening. We'll see.

08 June 2008

My kingdom for some duct tape.

04 June 2008

A Day In The Life

This is actually a post that I made a year and a half ago on The Series, but I came across the pictures randomly a few minutes ago and thought it would make a good blog, since this blog hasn't gotten much love recently.

My weekend of term paper writing:

My computer is shit and I get so bored while waiting for webpages to load, that I take pictures of my hair.

In fact, my computer got so fussy with me, that I decided to bring in another one (courtesy of my dear friend Jenni). I have to have one to write on and one to listen to music on, after all....

While doing research, my books scatter themselves across my room.

Yeah, that's right, my paper is on Dr. Suess. I rock!

I take a break and find that Daddy has stolen my book!

Finally, I finished the paper. Now all I have to do is clean my room.

31 May 2008

22 May 2008


They're outside my house. I'm surrounded. There must be a school field trip to walk down Jackson Street. Maybe they're going to Custard Cup. I suppose I'll find out when I hear them on the return trip and look out the window to see a bunch of ice-cream-smeared faces.

20 May 2008

Why is it

that I always tend to type entries here when I'm bored or when I'm waiting for something? At the moment, I'm waiting for my laundry to get out of the dryer so that I can bring it upstairs and then go to bed. I'm a tired little girl. As can be noted by the bit at the top left, I've finally started sending in job applications. I've already gotten a response from one library--the position was full, good luck though. Ah, well. I still have a few more applications to fill out and send in. I'll do that tomorrow probably. I also need to get an oil change tomorrow and shave my legs. Not necessarily in that order.

So I'm going to Chicago this weekend to see Tiger Army. Should be good times. I'll get to hang out with some folks from the Series. I'm pretty excited about that.

16 May 2008


So I was telling Daddy the other day about the Cure album I had wanted to buy, and he said "Cure?"
"Yeah. The Cure. It's a band," I said.
"C-U-R-E?" He kept repeating this. Over and over.
I couldn't believe he'd never heard of the Cure. I mean, come on. They've been around as long as, if not longer than, I have. He's surely heard some of their songs. My father baffles me.

14 May 2008

let's seeeeeee

Updates in the world of me, being the chronicles of Jessiqa the bored who only wants something to do whilst she waits to bid on a record on eBay.

It's a really good album. I know. I already own it. Two copies. Allow me to explain. I've been in love with this Cure album, Bloodflowers by name, for ages. I would constantly check it out from the library because I could never find it at the store. Eventually, I gave in and bought it on iTunes only to learn a few months later that the Australian edition has an extra track. So I bought it. I'm currently bidding on the vinyl. Damn, outbid. Oh well, I want it, but I won't pay an exorbitant fee for it. Besides I just bought Things Falling Apart on vinyl. This is why I'm poor.

Okay, I'm done now. No real updates here, true, but I don't care. :p

06 May 2008

I have a pimple on my thigh.

04 May 2008


Okay, that was supposed to say "hola" but my fingers decided otherwise, so I'm leaving it.

I just glanced back at my new year's resolutions and was quite surprised at how many of them I've gotten a good start on. Sure, sure, I haven't gotten a job yet, haven't even been looking really, but I have kept to a yoga routine for over two months now and I even joined a class. NIN will be touring the US this summer, which makes my heart happy. The CD addiction is still going strong, to the point that I've pretty much run out of room for any new CDs--a tragedy!

I still need to learn to juggle, though.

26 April 2008


You know that feeling just after you've put on lotion, of your skin being all greasy so that you don't feel like putting on clothes yet? Yeah, that's me right now.

22 April 2008


My belly is unhappy. I guess I ate too much. It's actually more nerves than anything else, I'm sure. Going to church on my own tends to do that to me these days. Especially as I plan to stay for Confession tonight. I've already written about how this particular bit of my faith unnerves me. So perhaps that means my stomach actually is suffering from unnerves? I'll have to think about that one. ;)

Jeez, it's been awhile since I last logged in. I've have this one half-finished blog still sitting on the back-burner of my desktop that I'll likely never finish, but you never know.

Hahaha, the song that just came on my iTunes is "Nerves" by Bauhaus.

I wish Jenni were awake; I'd make her come with me. Oooh, she is awake. This may actually work.

I use the word "actually" way too much. Yes, yes, I do.

Okay, this blog has drifted off course. Not that it ever actually (hehe) had a course, but whatev.

01 April 2008


My father just told me something both shocking and unimaginable: He has never been a big fan of Dave Barry. (This, despite laughing at the back cover of Barry's newest book, which I brought home from the library.) I told him that was Un-American.

I now disown my father.

23 March 2008

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

For those of you Christians of the Western Tradition, that is. Eastern Orthodox Easter, aka Pascha, is still a few weeks away.

I didn't go to church again even though I set my alarm and everything. God, I suck.

19 March 2008


Grrrr at borders.com not allowing me to use my gift card for my purchase. Maybe because the card was just purchased today and the check needs to go through first. Hopefully. I sure as hell am not paying full price for that dvd set.

16 March 2008


I think I should go take a shower. I've been up since noon and still haven't gotten around to it. Also, I'm bored, so I might as well.

14 March 2008

Do I have to?

I don't want to go to work today, even if only for a few hours. I have a fever and I'm all weak and tired. I didn't sleep well. Typing is great effort!

This sucks. =(

12 March 2008


I finally got that retainer taken out of my mouth. They're going to give me a removable one in a month. Better that than nothing, because my teeth will most definitely shift and "crowd" if left to their own devices.

My mouth feels so weird.


Yoga kicks ass.
Mine, primarily.

08 March 2008


Yay, birthday. Oy, am I tired! This has been such a long week. Fun, but long. =) I think I may call it a night early and go catch some z's.

06 March 2008


I'd enjoy getting paid more if I didn't have to pay bills. Haha. Wouldn't we all?

No matter. The day after tomorrow is my birthday and I intend to enjoy the fuck out of myself (though not literally) tomorrow in Indy. Rah.

01 March 2008


I went on LibraryThing today to add a book to my catalog. While there, I thought I'd glance at the site's blog. Right there at top was a picture of a girl I just graduated with, Sonya. They just hired her to work on their Library Thing For Libraries project (which the Lincoln Trail Library System already has, I'm proud to say). Yet one more reminder of how I'm wasting my time barely even looking. I didn't know they were hiring. I likely wouldn't have gotten the job because it required knowledge of CSS and I have none, but that isn't the point. There's cool stuff out there and I don't even bother. I don't have that passion Sonya does. I didn't know her well, (I never bothered to get to know my fellow-students very well. That's probably a mistake on my part. I own that.), but I liked her.

Good luck, Sonya, and have fun.

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29 February 2008

Illustrative Lack

I've created a new blog. It's an experiment, really. I've been thinking recently that I want an outlet to test my writing skills. Not that this blog doesn't count as writing, but this is personal (even if Jenni is the only one who reads it) and I wanted something completely impersonal, just a writing exercise. But what to write on? I thought the best way to test my abilities would be to just choose a random word or topic and go with it for each post. To my surprise, when I Googled "random word generator," the first hit was perfect. It included a phrase generator as well. So that's what I'm using. My goal is to write one entry each day as dictated by the generator. This should be fun. Check out the blog here: Illustrative Lack

Edit: Due to general apathy, I decided to delete the blog. All that remains is the broken link above.

27 February 2008

pocket fuzz

I should put some make-up on. I'm going out tonight. To church, that is. Yeah, I've started going again. Okay, I didn't this past Sunday, but whatever. Tonight Jenni and I are going to the evening prayers followed by catechumen/inquirers class. Firefox doesn't think 'catechumen' is a word. *adds to the dictionary* Hahaha. I wrote Firefox, but I'm actually using Flock. I haven't used Firefox in months now. Hmmm.

I'm listening to an Ella Fitzgerald album I got well over a year ago. Fabulous. I've never listened to her before and now I regret it. I've missed some amazing music here and now I have to catch up.

Brats for dinner tonight. Yay, but not really. Haha. Speaking of dinner, I'm getting hungry now. Already? Yes.

There isn't much point to this post at all except that I wanted something less maudlin than the past two entries. I've been meaning to write a blog on NIU. I even have notes, but writing is effort when it's not just rambling like this, so I haven't gotten around to it. If I only had a machine to read my brain while I'm at work, then It'd be done, because that's when I wrote the NIU blog. I just didn't have anywhere to write it down at that moment other than a vague outline on some scrap paper and I haven't even bothered to do it justice. Perhaps tomorrow.

Do you know I still haven't updated my cover letter? I found it, by the way. I know exactly where it is, but I haven't bothered to look at it or work on it. My goal is to do that this week and actually apply for at least one job by the end of the week. This is an easy enough goal to accomplish. I have several positions bookmarked on del.icio.us and all I need is that blasted cover letter and I'm good. I'm such a lazy sod. I know there's a strong part of me that doesn't really want to bother with looking for a job right now because Daddy starts a series of kidney stone surgeries (that word doesn't look like it's spelled right, but Flock says otherwise) at the end of March. I feel that I ought to be around for that. But that's partly a cop-out. The other reason I don't bother with applying for jobs is fear: I don't think I'll really be offered anything; I haven't really found any position that strikes my fancy; I don't feel properly qualified for what positions are available; I don't want to move away from everyone I care about and have to start anew all on my own.

Okay. Enough. This Bill Haley album isn't nearly as fab as the Ella Fitzgerald one.

22 February 2008


Being nauseous and hungry at the same time, however, sucks even more.
I think I'm gonna go fix myself a bowl of rice.

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19 February 2008

13 February 2008

If I were to change my race . . .

I'd look pretty scary. According to University of St. Andrews Face of the Future anyway. I used this picture for the program to Transform:



Older Adult:





The rest are silly/artistic ones and on the whole way more attractive.



Manga Cartoon:

Apeman (50% Chimp):


You can cry yourself to sleep now.

12 February 2008

I guess it's official.

They finally sent my diploma. So what if it's two months late? I gradumatated nd that be all taht materz.

09 February 2008

Where's evil?

This quote is from Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s book Mother Night.

    "There are plenty of good reasons for fighting," I said, "but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It's that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive.
    "It's that part of an imbecile," I said, "that punishes and vilifies and makes war gladly."

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31 January 2008

I love Terry Pratchett

I'm currently reading his Feet of Clay and I got to this part involving Nobby and . . . . Oh, man . . . I laughed so hard that I cried.

Typing isn't easy. I clipped my nails yesterday and apparently clipped the one on my left forefinger a little too low, so it hurts. It didn't hurt yesterday or even all day today, only when I was on my way home from work. I try to type sans that finger, but it's tough. I keep making a bunch of typos because I just skip the letters that that finger would have been typing. Oh, well. It'll be better tomorrow, surely.

It's still snowing. Winter advisory until noon tomorrow. District 118 has already canceled school for tomorrow. I wonder if we'll get off of work. It'd be a nice change. I hope we get fully paid snow days. I'm scheduled for 7.5 hours.

26 January 2008

What Would Jessiqa Do?

I don't think I've gone to church once since August. Maybe July. This is the longest no-church stretch I've ever had. Ever. Even when I was having my religious crisis/doubts/exploration I went every now and then. (That was mostly just to make Mom happy, though.) This is different. I'm experiencing no crisis, no real lack of faith. I just lack the desire to attend church. Weird. Because I enjoy the experience when I'm there. The music, the incense, the prayer, the whole of the liturgy really, it's all very beautiful.

I think part of my hesitation is that it's been so long. I feel like I don't belong anymore. Frankly, I never belonged in the first place. That's my fault. I almost never stayed after liturgy for coffee hour. I never bothered to get to know my fellow parishioners. I didn't want to. I always viewed St. Nicholas' as just a temporary thing. It's only the church I attend because I'm stuck in Danville. It's not home. Why make connections to people when I know bloody well I'm leaving again. I haven't left yet, but I'm working on it. I hope to be gone before Pascha. Is it wrong that one of my main reasons for getting a job and getting out of here is that I'd rather not go to confession here again? See, I converted to Orthodoxy from being Baptist, so of everything, confession is probably the most awkward and alien to me. But it's even more awkward with Father James. Way more than it was with Fathers Joe and Michael at St. Joe's in Wheaton. I always feel guilty talking to Father James because I don't get involved in any capacity at St. Nicholas'. Besides, I never really know what to confess. I've discussed swearing and smoking and apathy and other stuff. He says not to confess things I've confessed before because I've already been forgiven for them. Great. But I continue to do them. So now what? Should I instead ask forgiveness for not bothering to try to be better? 'Cause other than that, I've got nothing. It's not like I go about trying to commit new sins just for the hell of it. I'm running out of things to confess and so I just stand there awkwardly in an already awkward situation and ugh--I just hate it. So if I can be somewhere else, at some other church by Pascha, by the time I need to confess next (confession is mandatory once a year, usually at lent), then maybe I won't feel so uncomfortable.

Maybe. Or maybe this is a crisis in faith. As I said, I really enjoy the liturgy. I pray every night, but that's mostly by rote. I rarely read the Bible. I used to do that every night as part of my prayers. I pre-ordered the new study Bible, so that's cool. I just have this whole lack of interest, I guess. This is true in most aspects of my life, so why not here as well?

I'm going to set my alarm. I'll at least get that far, which is more than I've done in a long long time. I may turn it off again when I wake up, but at least I'll make the initial effort tonight to go to church tomorrow. Goodnight.

23 January 2008

story of my life

I always seem to end up writing blogs when I'm tired and really ought to be in bed. I'm just taking care of a bit of downloading and then I'll go toward my slumber. I promise. Anyhoo, this whole paying back student loans is a bitch. I owe around $50,000. Most of that is from UofI, but some is from NIU. I have to rework the UofI part so that they determine my monthly payments based on my income. Otherwise I would have to pay almost 300 a month and there's no way I can afford that. I had something else on my mind, but I've forgotten it now. Mind like a steel sieve, I have. I think I'm gonna buy the soundtrack to Pan's Labyrinth. I just gave it a listen and I quite like it. I was surprised to learn a few weeks ago that Daddy didn't really like the movie. I fucking loved it. I should watch it again. Hah! Right! I've got tons of movies I need to watch but haven't gotten around to yet. Some aren't even mine. Like that one movie I borrowed from Jenni about a year and a half or two years ago . . . . I should take a course on speed-reading: I'm not reading all the books I want to read fast enough. I'm not going to live forever, you know! I still haven't bothered to even look for that cover letter I wrote for the Henderson's class last year. I need to revise that and make it my proper cover letter for all these jobs I haven't been applying to. I keep saying "tomorrow," but I've been saying that for a week and a half now--it's kinda begun to lose meaning. Speaking of tomorrow, I wonder what Jenni wants to do tomorrow. We're supposed to go to Chambana and hang with Ryan and wish him a happy anniversary of his birth, but we haven't actually made plans. We didn't call each other tonight. So I have no idea what's going on. Hmmmm. Daddy wants me to help him figure out the wireless router tomorrow so we can get Mom set up on her laptop. That's all well and good, I'll be glad to have her off of my computer, but that will probably mean that I'll be stuck using wireless internet and I rather like ethernet. rawrgh. It won't really be that bad. I do just fine with wireless at Aunt Beth's. It's still through cable. It handles torrents well, so I need to stop bitching.

15 January 2008

It's that time of year again

. . . to buy Girl Scout cookies.

I nearly died because they don't have Samoas anymore. Thankfully, they just changed the name to the terribly lame Caramel Delights, so I started breathing again so that I could relate the tale to you now.

*wipes beads of sweat from forehead*
That was a close one.

Edit: They're called Caramel De Lites, not Caramel Delights. Even lamer.

13 January 2008

Hakuna Matata

The job hunt has begun.
I must write a cover letter.

10 January 2008


I had a dream last night that featured crocodiles. Or were they alligators? Even in the dream, I wasn't sure.

I should be in bed right now. I was, actually, until a few minutes ago when inspiration caused me to leap to my laptop. Not to blog, but to do something else. Writing this is a way of passing the time until I finish the other thing, which isn't even working. Grrr. I wish I could rip video and audio and split files and all that good stuff.

*sigh* Oh, well. Back to bed.

02 January 2008

So how do you like 2008 so far?

I asked this question of a cat about five seconds into the new year. She was unimpressed. Jenni laughed, though. I've discovered a new favorite night-time beverage--hot chocolate with a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream. Marshmallows are a plus. Have I ever mentioned that I love Placebo? Well, I do. Lots. I have to wake up uber-early tomorrow. Okay, not uber-early, but 730, which is still unpleasantly early. Grrrr at having to work for a living. Hahaha. I'm very sleepy right now. I wouldn't even be up, but I'm trying to waste time while I finish my Hot Bailey's Irish Cream Cocoa. Yummmm. Oooh. I should make a list of resolutions. Right.
  • Get the hell out of D-Vegas.
  • Get a job.
  • Preferably before Easter. (Western Easter, that is. Pascha is in May this year, which is way late.)
  • By my birthday would be fabulous.
  • Get on the pill. These pimples have to go.
  • Continue to feed my CD addiction.
  • Nurture a DVD addiction as well.
  • Start a yoga routine.
  • Preferably by going to a class, so I can get proper instruction.
  • Barring the yoga, start a morning swimming routine.
  • Enjoy as many concerts as possible. (so far so good on this one)
  • Look into seeing Tori Amos live.
  • Also The Cure.
  • And NIN, if the fuckers tour the US this year.
  • Buy some black socks.
  • Learn to juggle.
  • Get some sleep. Goodnight.

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